I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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