does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
