what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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