HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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