I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
