Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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