can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
