honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I touched a dick in church today
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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