EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
