This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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