I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
