I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
