I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
