True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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