Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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