is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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