it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sorry my hands just texted you
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
