I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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