Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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