I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
