Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
