The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
