Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
