It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
