Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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