Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
