That's intense
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
