everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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