she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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