wat bout pragnant strippers??
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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