we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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