My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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