We're facebook friends in real life
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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