In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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