talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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