am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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