I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
