Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
