Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
