It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
