I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
