I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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