Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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