so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
