i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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