im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
