We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
