Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
