i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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