that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
