A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
as a side note pls kill me
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
