So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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