but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Also, beer. Big fan.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
