we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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