Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
