The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
