So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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