I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The air taste purple.
Randomize
