If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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