why didn't you poke me back
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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