I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
