I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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