Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
