Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
