My Higher Power is John Stamos
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize