the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
